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Losing it ..
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I think i'm REALLY starting to lose it .

the day after that fateful "last day" .. i felt really .. how do i put it? like going crazy inside? like i'm there but not really there in person? .. *sighs* .. & the best thing is .. guess what the FRIGGIN hell i did? ..

it was after work .. and supposedly .. i'm supposed to go straight home .. but .. my legs took me to a place i wanted to go to, subconsciously .. gym .. i made a HUGE detour in order to pass by the gym .. just to see if i can see him .. god .. i must be crazy .. i'm SO embarrassed to even write it down here .. to admit what crazy thing i did .. damn .. guess i'm losing it .. oh did i mention .. completely? WTF

the day after that .. i tried the stupidest "stunt" i EVER did .. EVER .. coz i kept his msg from the PT tryout .. i decided to give him a missed call .. to see whether there's this TINY chance that i'll be able to talk to him again .. god .. crazy AGAIN .. & so i did ..

and to my excitement ! he replied . oh god . i was WAY over the cloud ! there's NO word .. absolutely NO word to describe how HAPPY i felt then ! god ..

the first thing he asked was .. "u still have my number?" .. YIKES ?! YES, i still have your number .. isn't it OBVIOUS? LOL .. but i went on to explain that i had accidentally press wrongly when i wanted to delete his msg .. LMAO .. think he guessed it .. so ... again .. it was embarrassin .. WTH .. i dun even know y i put myself thru such shame HAHAHAHAHHA .. see? i'm REALLY losing it !

although it was just a mere few msgs .. i felt that he felt nothing towards me .. absolutely nothing at all .. so .. i made a HUGE decision to delete all his msgs .. so that there was NO way to communicate with him EVER again .. at that point .. i REALLY felt that i have FINALLY put this thing behind me .. FINALLY i can move on again ..

& a few days passed ..

BUT .. omggggg .. NEVER did i EVER dreamed .. even in my WILDEST dream .. that he wld add me in msn .. ohhh goddddd .. when i was SOOOO close to forgettin everything? .. wth .. but .. he did .. *sighs* .. & now he's back in my life .. goddddd ..

i really dunno whether i shld be happy or sad .. argh ! & guess wads the best thing .. he's NEVER online .. WTFFFFF .. NEVER !! ARGH !!!

PISSED ..
(+*MissWaTeVeR*+) ♥ 5:39 AM