<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d2013927372205794214\x26blogName\x3d%2B*MiSsWaTeVeR*%2B\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://missywatever.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://missywatever.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-819835416307971509', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe", messageHandlersFilter: gapi.iframes.CROSS_ORIGIN_IFRAMES_FILTER, messageHandlers: { 'blogger-ping': function() {} } }); } }); </script>
 
 
Losing it ..
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I think i'm REALLY starting to lose it .

the day after that fateful "last day" .. i felt really .. how do i put it? like going crazy inside? like i'm there but not really there in person? .. *sighs* .. & the best thing is .. guess what the FRIGGIN hell i did? ..

it was after work .. and supposedly .. i'm supposed to go straight home .. but .. my legs took me to a place i wanted to go to, subconsciously .. gym .. i made a HUGE detour in order to pass by the gym .. just to see if i can see him .. god .. i must be crazy .. i'm SO embarrassed to even write it down here .. to admit what crazy thing i did .. damn .. guess i'm losing it .. oh did i mention .. completely? WTF

the day after that .. i tried the stupidest "stunt" i EVER did .. EVER .. coz i kept his msg from the PT tryout .. i decided to give him a missed call .. to see whether there's this TINY chance that i'll be able to talk to him again .. god .. crazy AGAIN .. & so i did ..

and to my excitement ! he replied . oh god . i was WAY over the cloud ! there's NO word .. absolutely NO word to describe how HAPPY i felt then ! god ..

the first thing he asked was .. "u still have my number?" .. YIKES ?! YES, i still have your number .. isn't it OBVIOUS? LOL .. but i went on to explain that i had accidentally press wrongly when i wanted to delete his msg .. LMAO .. think he guessed it .. so ... again .. it was embarrassin .. WTH .. i dun even know y i put myself thru such shame HAHAHAHAHHA .. see? i'm REALLY losing it !

although it was just a mere few msgs .. i felt that he felt nothing towards me .. absolutely nothing at all .. so .. i made a HUGE decision to delete all his msgs .. so that there was NO way to communicate with him EVER again .. at that point .. i REALLY felt that i have FINALLY put this thing behind me .. FINALLY i can move on again ..

& a few days passed ..

BUT .. omggggg .. NEVER did i EVER dreamed .. even in my WILDEST dream .. that he wld add me in msn .. ohhh goddddd .. when i was SOOOO close to forgettin everything? .. wth .. but .. he did .. *sighs* .. & now he's back in my life .. goddddd ..

i really dunno whether i shld be happy or sad .. argh ! & guess wads the best thing .. he's NEVER online .. WTFFFFF .. NEVER !! ARGH !!!

PISSED ..
(+*MissWaTeVeR*+) ♥ 5:39 AM
Damned Infatuation.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
I, now, understand why my friends act like they do when they break-up with their bfs ..



I, now, understand how it feels to know you might never again get to see someone who you really want to see ..



I, now, understand how some things are easier said than done ..



When i'm already thinking & acting like this when i'm not even in love .. it has got to be MUCH worse if i'm in love .. damn ..



Saw him first in a gym club, and he happened to be my assigned Personal Trainer (PT) .. It didn't occur to me that he was so damned cute at the first instance .. was just glad that i was not assigned a malay PT or a too-a-mighty-beefy PT .. ok, fine .. he did seemed cute to me at that time .. but only cute ..



when the PT session started .. i soon started to feel some electricity running around inside of me .. that's when i realised .. the more i look at him .. the more damn-ingly cute he became to appear to me .. damn ..



it wasn't that bad at the beginning though .. just felt he's REALLY cute .. coz i signed up for the 5 weeks trial, i figured it would be a total waste if it wasn't utilised .. so i went to gym about 2 times per week .. and everytime i was there, he would come talk to me .. i tried to convince myself he was doing that to get me to sign up for the PT sessions .. but, unfortunately .. his charm was way TOO strong for me to resist .. and my desperado-syndrome is acting up again .. soon i started to think he was doing that coz he is sort of interested too .. damn .. i was obviously tryin to lie to myself .. wtf ..



i mean .. he's ALL cute & EVERYTHING .. dammit .. i have to admit i'm a DAMNED "visual" person -.-" .. well, i'm only human .. i like beautiful things too .. AND .. he is DAMNED beautiful to me .. damn ..



not knowing when all these daydreams started and got worse .. he started to become my motivation to go gym .. i felt the need to see him .. damn ..



i did tried to save myself from falling deeper .. everytime he talked to me .. i tried to keep things short .. tried to act like he is just a friend i m talking to .. but deep inside .. i felt electrocuted .. to the core .. damn .. but .. it felt REALLY good .. god .. i'm mad .. but still .. it felt like .. heaven .. fine .. i'm crazy .. damn ..


All good things come to an end.

it really saddens me .. alot .. to learn the fact that i'll never see him ever again after today .. let alone having to let the fact sink-in .. it hurts .. LOL .. guess i've already fell THAT deep huh .. damned ..

it's hard .. but i've got to learn to let all these feelings go .. all these harbouring thoughts that will never come true .. it will be done, SURELY .. not wanting to wallow in my own despair like this anymore .

knowing all these feelings .. scares me .. dun wana be in love .. ever ..

but .. i know i've got to learn .. to experience .. to love .. if there ever is a chance for me ..

hmm ~ definitely felt good to let it ALL out like this ! feel better already !

This infatuation is over & done with . Got to move on .

THIS is ME .. MISSYWADEVER !!!
(+*MissWaTeVeR*+) ♥ 7:04 AM