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Desperado syndrome *YIKES* |
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hmm ... how do i start?
ok, lets start with the fact that someone is tryin to get me to be his gf, & the thing is that i'm flattered, happie, excited & wadever feelings that usualli comes with this kinda things .. especially when throughout yr WHOLE bloodie life, NO-ONE actualli did it before !
BUT thats the initial stage when he tried to ask me out & stuff like that .. then .. unfortunately, he have to go & call me "baby" this & "baby" that *ARGH!*
THAT definitely turned me OFF !! I mean u dun even noe ME ! who r U to start callin ME THAT? LMAO !! some ppl can juz be so ridiculous ~ i juz cant stand it ! GOODNESS !
Oh ya, he used to be my driving instructor but that was like 3 DAMN yrs ago ! & wad i rmb of him, doesn't giv him ANY advantage *diao~* hmm ... wad do i rmb bout him ... he's dark-skinned .. Oh! he's chinese by the way .. doesn't realli hav looks .. & wads worse .. he is fat ! OMG i'm SO evil ! it's not like i'm slim enuh to call him dat .. but WTH he's FAT .. *sigh*
let's FACE it .. i m only human ! i wan my bf to be presentable too u know? although sometimes i keep tellin myself i cant be choosy in my currently unwanted-state .. there r definitely times when i ask myself Y i don't hav a bf .. then i always see the reason being my character .. well, it's something i have mentioned before .. i dun realli hav confidence bout my looks & everything .. so i don't usualli dress up coz i dun hav the confidence to feel good in wearin some realli pretti clothes .. when i reflect bout it .. i feel more inferior than ever .. so i dun usualli tink much bout it & push the thoughts aside .. u might say that i m evading my problems .. but i will say dat's probably how i keep myself happie .. then u might tink i m ignorant bout things that's happening .. & i will re-butt saying thats probably the only good thing in me .. *eeks !* i m soundin depress all over again ! *banging my head against the table to get the thoughts out!* OK ENUH BOUT THAT ! lets continue ..
When i first received a txt msg from him, i was REALLi excited coz it was a no. i didn't hav in my hp .. i was like "hmm ... WHO could this BE? could it be that eddie? mayb he suddenly wanted to ask me out again ! although the last time we met was .. well .. disasterous, i wld say hahahahaha" Then .. came the reply .. haiz .. disappointed . There were SO many guys that could be the one txtin me .. but .. haiz .. it has to be him *sigh sigh sigh*
but then .. i didn't fall realli hard from "cloud-nine" .. was still a bit happie though i m not too sure why i cld possibly be happie at all at that point in time ROFL !! OH OH ! I know now !! coz i was reading that stupid chinese fantasy storybook !! & i was realli CRAVING for all those lovey dovey stuffs .. oh man .. dats dumb *faintz* no wonder ~
Then he tried to ask me whether i have bf & started to ask me out when he knows i m still single .. well .. of coz i said sure .. OK HERE'S THE DUMBEST THING EVER ! i was actualli fantisizing that he might hav slim down ALOT & look THAT much BETTER ! THAT's Y i said "YES" in the damn bloodie first place .. shyt ~ see how a insignificant little harmless storybook can control yr mind juz like that ?!!! OMFG wad happen to ME ?!! scarie ~
Then .. dats when all the "baby" stuff kick-in .. haiz .. actualli i dun tink i gave him anything that might have lead him on to feel that i WILL be his gf .. it's irritating & frustrating .. & disgusting!
Thats when i called cherry up to gossip bout this .. or rather showin it off LOL .. thats ME ! *Eeewww~* i hate that myself .. *needta remind myself not to do dat* .. she gave me realli good advice & i was glad that there was someone that i can talk to ! *muax* realli luv u gal !
It's like he's REALLI anxious bout me NOT replyin his msges .. & he'll keep on sendin msg sayin " r u ok? wad happen? u busy?" & it goes on ~
I mean .. HELLO ~! i needta do my own things & think things thru u noe?
Alright .. here's yet another thing .. if it had been some other guy (presentable e.g. eddie, seems like i kinda like him, keep on mentioning him .. hope he doesn't snizz until he fall sick ya?? wahahaa !) .. i might hav felt like "OoooOo ~ he's anxious bout me ! & he can't get enuh of me !" & i will definitely float myself up to cloud-nine ! BUT for him .. it's a different story all together .. it realli felt disgusting & i realli gagged when i saw his msges .. *EEeeeWWWwww*
Then .. rite this instant .. he is tryin to act cute .. ... ..... ... .... .. .. . ...... .. .. ... ...... ...... ... .. . ..... .
OMFG !! WAD DE FRIGGIN' HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS DOING ?!
*EEEEWWWWWWWEEEEWWWWWEEEEEWWWWWWWEEEEEEEWWWW*
even THAT couldn't express the EXTEND of nauseous i m feelin rite now !
is it bcoz of the way i msg him?! EEEEeeewwwwwweewwww ! CAN'T STAND IT !
OK I M DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO GO DINNER WIF HIM !!!
even if it means having FREE transport to work & from work OR a DAMNED flyer ticket with a OMG-I-DUN-TINK-I HAVE-ENUH-MONEY-TO-PAY-FOR-IT dinner .. EEewwww ..
But then again .. i realli shldn't be choosy !!
HELL NO !! he DISGUSTS me SO much, i dun tink i even hav gastric juice in my stomach after i txt him for one day (shld hav puke everything out by the end of the day) .. let alone actualli MEETIN him for a day .. i guess i will only be left with my skin & bone -.-" not too bad ar .. free slimmin down session !!! ahahahahah ~
OK, the angel & devil inside of me r fightin a realli BIG brawl ! lets wait for them to finish it before i realli make a decision whether to go or NOT to go .. well .. i feel like i already hav the answer inside of me .. but WADEVER ! lets juz wait & see ~ weeee ~ |
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(+*MissWaTeVeR*+) ♥ 12:26 AM |
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